A recent visit to the dentist revealed an abnormality in the X-rays of my jaw. A mass in my upper jaw and another one attached to the jaw bone beneath my tongue. This coming Friday they will get examined and tested for cancer.
Several years ago I was in a car accident that changed my life and took my smile. It took years for me to finally save up and have the kind of insurance that would allow me to get things properly fixed. The accident took more than my smile, it took my self esteem and caused the man I loved to turn away from me. He found someone new and used my problem as one of the many reasons why we didn’t work out. A man can’t love a woman who isn’t “whole.”
I smile all the time now and despite what my recent X-rays have uncovered it is not going to slow me down because I have so much to be grateful for and nothing to fear.
In the past 3 years so many things have happened in my life that I never thought would occur for me. I had some of my writings published in a magazine, I have drawings that I did for people hanging in homes across the country, I have been asked to be a brand ambassador for a new camo clothing company, I met someone who set me on fire and if only for a moment that someone made me feel beautiful for the first time in my life, I got 4 goats who have become my world, started a blog, I have a bright future to look forward to because I am finally cutting all the ties that held me back from moving forward, I am known for my smile, and I have touched lives. Yes me! I touched lives and that is so very important to me.
These may seem like small accomplishments to all of you but had you met me a few years ago you would have seen a woman with her head down stuck in a rut thinking she was never going to know love or happiness simply because she couldn’t smile.
Now I come forward with my story to hopefully inspire others who have similar experiences or who are facing scary health issues. You are not alone. For some of you it was not a car accident that stole your smile but perhaps life events or another person. To all of you I say smile anyway. Despite everything never give others the power to rob you of your happiness or your light. If someone tells you that you are unlovable due to a deformity or scars tell them that you are even more worthy of love because you survived. You made it through something that could have taken your life and even if the image in the mirror still reflects the pain you endured do not let the ghosts of what happened rob you of happiness now.
All too often the things that scare us most are not being loved and death. You know what scares Me? Dying before ever having truly lived but my fears are in vain because I know dang well I will never let that happen. To the fullest every day, every hour, every minute, every second!
I will repeat the age old saying of “never underestimate the power of a smile.” A single smile can change the lives of both the person giving and the person receiving it’s radiance and hope.